Heritage Living | The Lost Art of Hospitality

The feeling we carry once we leave a dinner or gathering tells us all we need to know about the host and the home. It identifies the purpose of the gathering and who it was meant for. The feeling we express regarding our experience shines a light on the lack of—or love for—the lost art of hospitality.

This week at The Family Hall Podcast, we explored this conversation in depth, vocalizing the unfortunate performances people mask as hosting, but also expressing how and why hosting may be a challenge in society today.

Perhaps the conversation could have stretched into one simple, direct question: Is the art of performative existence the replacement for authenticity?

Early within the conversation, we mention that the attention to today’s hosting details is more about the host and the social media post than how the guest feels. The treatment of your guest begins before an invitation is sent, before a reply to the invite happens, and before one person arrives.

That’s because hosting with admirable hospitality starts with the guest in mind and heart first. Yes, the guests are first.

However, we recognize that most hosting efforts, tablescapes, and social home gatherings are being assembled and orchestrated for posts, views, and self-pride, with very little consideration of the guest.

And this conversation could expand beyond the surface by simply posing another direct question: Are you actually concerned about your personal image or perceived social status, or are your efforts solely attention- and ego-driven for likes, views, and false narratives because “faking it until you make it” has become the identity that pays the bills?

Beyond the virtual capacity, we then look into the elements that truly illuminate a host or hostess and the effortless art of hospitality. For example, considering how to create an easy experience allows the newest guest to experience warmth and welcome rather than tension and worry.

Truly consider how the ease and movement of an event translate into lasting emotions. Or perhaps the beautiful point that Mikel mentions: how scents and sounds provide immediate and lasting comfort or an impactful impression.

And dare I say, it could be left with one simple and direct question: How will our guests feel once they leave this evening?

That one question may change how you approach the entire operation.

Before reaching our final point, we’d like to invite you to listen to or watch The Family Hall: Chapter Three here.

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As we close this conversation, I believe it is worth mentioning that hospitality is a skill that can be learned. Perhaps the skill and art of hospitality weren’t shown in the home, but they can absolutely be felt beyond the home.

So, through recognizing those feelings and observing selfless treatment during social gatherings, no matter the scale or size, allow them to inspire the desire to provide those exact feelings in your own home.

As mentioned in Chapter Three, a beautiful house doesn’t make a hospitable home. The grandest décor will never outshine genuine kindness and consideration.

But would you believe it if we told you that this, too, could be communicated through one simple, direct question?

Have I confused entertaining with hospitality—and what, or who, have we lost by doing so?